Finding a therapist who is a good fit can prove more challenging than I would like to admit. Even though I am still relatively young in my career as a licensed professional counselor, I have heard so many stories from clients who have had less-than-ideal experiences with a therapist. The full truth is that I’ve had my own fair share of times that I showed up as a client feeling excited, nervous, and ready to start my work with a new counselor, and left feeling “meh,” or like they just didn’t get me. Sometimes, I could identify exactly what had gone wrong. Other times, it was just more of a feeling. Unfortunately, there is such a thing as bad therapy, but more often, it’s a matter of finding the right clinician for you–and that’s not always as simple as it might seem.
While it’s impossible to know exactly how you will feel working with someone until you meet them at least once, I am going to answer a few questions to help you understand a bit more about me so you can make an educated guess about whether I might be a good fit for you. And no pressure! If you get started (or even if we have been working together for a long time) and you decide you need something or someone else, I love helping people connect with other therapists.
1. What are your strengths and limitations as a counselor?
In my work with clients, I have been told that my strengths including helping people feel comfortable and relaxed, facilitating conversations where people can be open and honest without concern for judgment, and keeping it real. I’ve been known to laugh with clients, get creative with activities and ideas when sessions feel stuck, offer challenges in a way that holds space for both accountability and compassion, and admit that I am also just a human doing my best to figure out life.
More formally speaking, I am trained to work with clients who have trauma. I am an EMDR Certified Therapist which means that I completed both basic and advanced EMDR training, several consultation hours, have practiced EMDR over the course of multiple years with a multitude of clients, was issued certification through EMDRIA, and continue to participate in ongoing training in EMDR. I love working with people who have had negative experiences in their lives whether they consider those experiences to be “traumatic” or not. My training in EMDR has prepared me to help clients develop appreciation and understanding for themselves, and to support people who find that they are having significant difficulty getting their hearts and minds to agree. For example, you might know that you are lovable, but you struggle to feel lovable. Helping people align what they know and feel is one of my favorite parts of being a counselor. If you’d like to learn more about EMDR, click here.
As with all counselors, my limitations exist mostly around understanding my scope of practice. This means that I am committed to making sure that I am not working with clients who have needs that I am not trained or available to meet. More specifically, I am currently not trained to work with people aiming to address active substance use disorders, active eating disorders, schizophrenia, dissociative identity disorder, or people who are in need of daily services or immediate access to a counselor as my schedule does not always allow for the urgency or intensity of services these issues deserve.
I enjoy ongoing education, and often work to expand my scope of practice when appropriate in order to meet client needs. I have been known to seek books, workbooks, additional trainings, and consultation when indicated. If it becomes clear that a client would benefit most from a referral to another clinician who has expertise in a particular area, I also enjoy facilitating those connections.
2. Is your approach to therapy more directing or more guiding?
Generally speaking, I would describe my approach to therapy as more guiding, but I certainly participate in the therapeutic conversation, and would not consider myself to be passive. Many of my clients have expressed their appreciation that I’m not one of those therapists who “just sits and listens.” One of my personal goals is to help my clients feel empowered, so I tend to take the client’s lead regarding what they would like to discuss and work on. With that said, I do not shy away from bringing up or returning to difficult topics, significant statements, or patterns if I see them. No matter what, I emphasize that you are the expert of your own life, and I will be here in support of your wellness.
3. Have you experienced being in therapy yourself?
Participating in my own therapy is extremely important to me, and I have spent an hour a week in the client seat for the better part of my adult life. I have worked with a handful of therapists who have all brought their own skills, perspectives, personalities, and approaches to my sessions. Going to counseling has helped me through so many challenges and phases of life. Beyond the personal growth and insight that I have gained, participating in counseling helps me have empathy for what it is like to be the client in the room, and it also works as a reminder of the impacts a counselor can have. I’ve even been known to quote my current and past therapists when their wise words would be helpful to a client I am currently working with.
4. How do you set up counseling goals? What are they like?
Most people come in with some ideas about how they would like to see change in their lives. Based on your reports as well as our assessments together of what might be helpful for you, we will discuss goals, and I will write them into your treatment plan using language that satisfies the requirements of insurance companies. Often times, clients have difficulty seeing changes in real time because they happen slowly. For that reason, I like to work with people to identify how we will know when we are making movement in the right direction. For example, if you love to watch movies, but you’ve been struggling to focus when watching them due to anxious thoughts, we might agree that we will know anxiety symptoms are reducing when you are able to enjoy your movies again. Your goals will be tailored to your presenting concerns, any diagnoses we are working with, your quality of life, and the requirements of insurance companies (if you are using insurance).
5. How do you work with people who have cultures, backgrounds, or belief systems that are different from your own?
When I work with people who have different identities, cultures, races, backgrounds, and belief systems than my own, I find that it is important to acknowledge those differences early on in our work together. From my end of the conversation, you can expect me to ask you questions about how factors such as race, culture, sex and gender identity, religion, etc. impact your experience of the world and how others interact with you. As well, I will ask you how you feel about my identities and the ways any differences we have might impact you in counseling. I also acknowledge that while I work to educate myself, I am certain that I have blind spots and biases that I am not yet aware of. I invite client feedback, questions, and concerns, and–as always–am happy to facilitate referrals in the case that you feel you would benefit from working with a clinician who shares a specific lived experience with you that I may not.
Maybe you still have questions . . .
I am happy to respond! Often times, people want to ask questions that are personal to their situation. You might be wondering if I have ever worked with someone who has a specific diagnosis, issue, or life event. Perhaps it is important for you to hear more about my world views in order to determine whether you feel safe. For the most part, I am open to answering questions and receiving feedback. If ever I am asked a question that I don’t feel comfortable answering while in the role of therapist, I will help you explore what need or desire is behind the question. Exploring in this way often leads to insight that resolves the desire for an answer. If it’s floating around in your head, ask it! Questions are a wonderful way to feel more comfortable, gather information you need, start processing, and determine whether I (or any other therapist) is a good fit for you.
